The Day I said F*ck It

Yep, you guessed it. It was prom night, I was wearing a white Greek inspired dress and I had a life time supply of body glitter all over my body. Rihanna doesnt know how to shine bright like a diamond until she has to wash glitter out of her unmentionable places. We roll into the venue of prom and there is a huge stage and not one person dancing on it. Everyone was kind of awkwardly standing around half touching each other. Almost like if physical touch could whisper. The men were wondering if Mountain Dew really does attribute to low sperm count because they used it as a chaser before they got here so chances of their date getting pregnant should be low. And the girls were wondering if something was biting them in the ass or if their glitter had traveled down and turned sideways and was cutting into their butt skin. I looked at the stage as an invitation to grind up against people I haven't shared more than 5 words with all of my highschool life and blame it on the music and fake drunk I was going to pretend to be. I looked around at everyone and I knew it was going to take one brave soul to get people on the stage. One brave, sexy, funny, kind, animal loving, Greek white dress wearing Goddess to GET THE PARTY STARTED. So, I said f*ck it and I ran up there, by myself and just WENT FOR IT. I started dancing, laughing, closing my eyes and trying to see if I could feel the music. But to be honest I am Irish German, the only music that makes my body move has a fiddle in it. I had lead the way, I knew that as soon as people saw me dancing that they would all invade the stage and I would have indeed "got the party started". 

 

However, you know that moment I told you about when I closed my eyes and felt the music?  Well, I opened my eyes to find myself still alone on stage. No one had joined me. I had sadly not got the party started. Not only had I not started the party, but my date ditched me the rest of the night. He was from a different school so he had a whole new school of boobs to try to grab. But, lets go back to the moment I said f*ck it.

 

You know when people say "I live by this life motto 'it's not whether you fall down but whether you get back up' or 'stand up for something or you will fall for anything'" Well thats cute. I made my own motto up after I went jet skiing in Mexico and I turned back to my sister and said "hold on tight, im gonna see how fast this thing can go" and then proceeded to get to top speed and throw us both off the jet ski and it was AWESOME. I told myself this was it, I had found my motto "live life full throttle". Yet most often I have found myself in situations where I am saying "f*ck it" more than I am saying "YEA FULL THROTTLE I LOVE FOUR LOKOS". 

 

Things I have forever said f*ck it to: 

 -living up to someone else's standards of me

-attempting to live a "comfortable" life

-not pursing social media in fear of someone thinking im vein

-being polite when I shut down men that offend me

-hating my body

 

Understand, each of these is more than just a one time f*ck it. Its a constant choice to ignore all the things that are telling me to adhere to some standard that makes my society comfortable. Especially the one about hating my body. This was a constant highlight for me because anything over a size 10 is constantly being told that we are unhealthy, we are lazy, we must eat junk food and soda all day and we are at such a high risk of all sorts of health issues. But the reality is people profit from you hating your body. Its all a ruse to make you want to change yourself and in order to change yourself you gotta pay for it. But as someone who has exhausted so many resources to try to figure out what's "wrong" with me because im thicker than your average Anna, I realized the only thing wrong is the thought that im not enough. So this was a BIG f*ck it because it makes me risk how people viewed me and how I viewed myself. I have three best friends all ranging from sizes 2-12 and all of them have their insecurities. I also work in an industry that has a lot of models and beautiful actresses, and guess what? They got the same list of insecurities as we all do. So that made me think "if almost every woman in the US hates their body, why do I have to be another one?"  I don't want to be another one, its exhausting. Its haunting, soul sucking, terrifying and honestly dumb. 

 

What would it look like if you said f*ck it to the things that hold you back? All those thoughts that you arent enough (educated, strong, wealthy, capable, smart etc) or all of the outfits you want to buy but dont because "someone of my size shouldn't be wearing this". What would just one day of your life look like if you said f*ck it to all the things that make you not just go for it. Honestly, take a moment and think about how many stages you want to run up on and just go “whatever, they’ll get over it”

 

I am not claiming to be the poster child for unwavering confidence but I am actively choosing to say FUCK it. Yep, no astric. Wanna know why I even had the astric? Because I was scared that all my church friends would think I'm some obscene, barbaric, immodest lost child of the night. But you know what? I don't care because my only duty on this earth is to be myself. Not be myself with society constraints on me, but be myself beyond limits. So I challenge you to remove your astrics and say fuck it in all the areas you need to free yourself. You might do it and open your eyes alone dancing on a stage, but at the end of the day who really remembers the spectators? 

 

***please dont say fuck it to something stupid like shooting up a place. That is not what i mean and you know it. I swear to God if you take this blog and use it as an excuse to be a bad person.....ill put body glitter in your unmentionables*** 

Bad Woman

Recently I got in a discussion with my sister about women and men being reduced to a study about gender. We started the conversation with her saying that "women tend to be more agreeable" and "studies show that women...." and it didn't sit well with me. I mean all of Nordstroms Oceanside got to experience a heated Brown girls’ debate. You know, the kind where I share my disagreement with my sisters opinion and she shares loudly over me till other innocent shoppers come and ask if I am ok?  Or if they should call for help? My sister often blames her loudness on the fact that she works with children. So basically, she helps children get to the hearing level of our dad at a younger age. She is a public servant really, helping them adjust well to their inevitable rave days. Raves are loud, Amy is loud, shes basically a rave of emotions.  Anyways, enough about mine and my sisters healthy relationship. 

 

After this Nordstrom brawl of wits in between the sales rack of things that are much to small for me, I really started pondering why this idea of "women are...." bothered me so much. I couldn't shake it. The conversation followed me. As I started digging into the roots of what was making me mad, yea, not curious but straight up angry, I uncovered how many times I felt like a "bad woman". Not because I had done anything that would make anyone bad, but because the way in which I lived life, voiced my opinion, wore my clothes, worked hard, owned my body, dreamed and challenged just about everything.  How many times I was lead to believe I was doing something wrong? I often felt like "am I missing something here?" Because I would watch people's response to me, better yet, their reaction to me and it had me constantly questioning myself. 

 

I don't know if anyone can really describe the emotional strangling that it is to be a woman, but my life has been removing one hand after another off my throat that was telling me how I am supposed to be a woman. I know a huge part of that was the environment in which I grew up (small conservative town) but then add being a woman of the church..... it is only by Gods grace that I didn't become what was expected of me. Instead I'm more than that. I interrupt atmospheres, I question the majority, I can be delightfully shy and shockingly boisterous. 

 

I remember specifically the times that I was made to feel like I was being a woman "all wrong". It was when I went on a date and I told the man I was with that I wanted a career in Los Angeles doing hair and makeup for film and television. His response to me was that I should be at home taking care of children and that a man should be the one making more money than his wife. Or the time my old roommate told me that I am turning against God if I didn't have children. That my womb was made to give life and its my duty to do so. Or the time I got sent to the principles office by my female highschool teacher because she said that the fishnet OVER SHIRT (yes I was wearing a shirt underneath) was too provacative and I needed to go see the principle yet when I went into his office he looked me up and down and said "I think you look pretty good to me. Why dont you just take a seat in my office for a while so she thinks you are being punished but we can just hang out". Or the many times I've been told "women aren't supposed to be this competitive". 

 

How did these moments impact me?  

- I immediately apologize any time I start crying. No matter if its in front of my husband or an acquaintance

- I feel anxiety any time I leave the house in something super form fitting or showing too much leg/cleavage

- I've purposely let men win so I didn't have to hear about how weird it is that im so competitive  

- I've avoided church communities

- I feel deep guilt when I feel uncertain about having children

- Went to counseling for my anger issues with men

 

Now that I have aired myself out, let us quickly touch on this last impact to conclude this thought- my anger issues with men. Am I angry with men or am I angry at how many times I have denied/reduced myself to fit the mold of being a "good woman"? Trying to be a reflection of the statistic of a woman. How many times I pretended to be agreeable, soft, complacent, modest, weak, incapable, dependent or submissive just to make those around me comfortable with me.  I am not wanting to be a good woman nor avoid being a bad woman..... I just want to be Anna.

Newsletter


2017 Updates

Well my year started out busy with getting an offer to Key Hair on a fun feature film up in Eureka CA. I legit had about 4 days to prep and then off I went on a 9 hour drive to Humbolt County where I stayed for about 30 days. The film had a very unique story line but also a really awesome cast. We had Aubrey Plaza, Jermaine Clement, Craig Robinson, Emile Hirsch, and Matt Berry as our leads in the film. The film had a 1980s undertone so we got to have a lot of fun with the hair. Each character had their own unique looks and even the background actors had very intentional odd styles. I was under the direction of Elissa Ruminer who was the hair department head and the one that created all the fun looks. She also had an armory of wigs so we utilized a lot of wigs on this film, which was fun and equally demanding. I had to cut 5 synthetic wigs in a bowl cut and often would be up till 3 in the morning listening to music and cutting them all into the same shape. I never wanted to see a blonde bowl cut ever again. Ive attached some pictures from the film and while it made it into the Sundance Film Festival, I am not totally sure when it releases to the public.

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You would think that after the demands of a film that I would have taken some time off but NOPE. I landed back in LA on the 14th (just in time for Valentine's Day with Bobby) and went right to work. I did hair for a Reebok campaign in downtown LA. It was basically models just running all day so it was pretty chill as far as the work load goes which was much needed after just getting back. Then after that I went on to Society 6 campaign which I was also on for hair.

2017 was busy and delightful. Here is a list of what I was working on

ADVERTISING

  • Reebok
  • Society 6
  • FabFitFun
  • Bare Minerals
  • Cat Shoes
  • Career Builder
  • Under Armour
  • Amo Denim
  • Aids Monument

COMMERCIAL

  • Panda Express
  • PNC Bank
  • Cheetos
  • Old Milwaukee Beer
  • Funny or Die + Chrysler

MUSIC VIDEO

  • IloveMakonnen & Rae Sremmurd

TV/FILM

  • An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn
  • Day 13
  • Hulu Pilot
  • Germanys Next Top Model

Products I Fell in LOVE With

I feel like its hard to stay on one product for too long before another one is said to be the best new thing. I have been SO incredibly blessed to be sent products from different brands which allows me to try so many new products. In 2016 I would say out loud "Brands will send me products to try" and I truely believe that through hard work and manifestation practices that I got connected with different brands. So that being said, here are a few products that I would gladly purchase again because they are now a staple in my kit.

Makeup

  • IT Cosmetics Feel the Moment skin serum/primer
  • IT Cosmetics CC+ Foundation
  • Glossier Wowder (Light setting powder)
  • Make Up For Ever HD Translucent Powder (travel size)
  • MAC Cosmetics Omega Brow Sculpt (perfect for blondes)
  • MAC Cosmetics Painterly Eyeshadow Base

Hair

  • R+Co Outer Space Hairspray
  • Oribe Texturizing Spray
  • Dyson Blow Dryer
  • AG Firewall (heat protectant w/o alcohol)
  • Denmen Smoothing Brush
  • Ouai Dry Shampoo Foam
  • Kevin Murphy Anti-Gravity Volume Spray

Things I have learned

I have learned this year that some people want to just be business friends, not friend friends. I love people and my job so much that I often blur that line with people I work along side and that hasn't always worked out for me. I had to learn that its ok to just be business friends, doesn't mean that I am not a good enough person to be their friend. I also had to learn to balance protecting myself while not also hardening my heart towards people. I had a conversation with my dad and told him about how loyalty has been so hard to find in this industry and often times its incredibly lonely. He told me that one of his favorite things about me was my ability to be so loving no matter the circumstances. He said he would grieve if he thought I was to shut that off to people just because I have been hurt. So I appreciate that lesson because I was definitely on the fine line of considering turning into a rigid lone wolf.

I learned to negotiate better and really start believing that I deserve what I am asking for. A blessing and a curse of truely doing what you love is knowing how to fight for yourself financially. I often volunteer my time for different organizations or projects because I love what I do so much that I would do it for free. But when it comes to building a career it's not that simple. Its honestly been more of a joy than a burden because a lot of the times they will understand and find a way to work together.

Summary

2017 felt like a year of pushing through what was hard in order to receive the gifts of life and my career. I would definitely say it was one of the hardest years of my life but I would also say one of the most rewarding. Being freelance isn't always so glamourus and it is A LOT of hard work in order to get any sort of real payoff. I felt like after 12+ years in this industry I was just starting to feel like I was reaping my benefits. My mom would say "This is the year to enjoy the fruits of your labor" and while there was plenty of fruits, I was working on not burning myself out. I found my limit in 2017 thats for sure. I did a job during the day, went and did an overnight job and then turned around a did another day job. WONT DO THAT AGAIN. But overall, 2017 set the stage for some amazing things to come. I am proud of the work I did in 2017 and I am fully excited about 2018. Stay tuned!

Quote for the 2017

"Nothing worth having comes easy"

Davines to the Rescue

Ya'll, if you haven't realized by now that good hair care starts in the shower, then let me and Davines change yo life. I mean, one of the most vunerable states your hair is in is when its wet. So just like a vunerable friend, we listen to what they need and figure out a way to protect it. So if you are someone who has fine hair and gets your hair bleached every 6 weeks, and you are still using your harsh shampoo for course hair..... then you better not be yelling a your colorist for your dry ass hair. :)

During the summer I was hair department head on a film that required me to do quite a lot to this young girls hair. In between wetting it down, drying it, curling it, wetting in, drying it, ALL IN ONE DAY I was concerned about her hair health. We were taking her hair through a lot in this film. Which is why I am so extrememly thankful for Davines support during this film.

Here are some pictures of what we had to do to G's hair in a short period of time.

Extensions

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Wet and Greased

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Cute and curled

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Tangled and Messy

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Thankfully, they sent over the sexiest package of goodies for our film. Full of shampoos, conditioners, serums, waxes, hairspray's and plenty of other UH-mazing products.

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My main girl G, or as I liked to call her G-unit, was sent home with shampoos, conditioner, and masks to use while we were filming so that at the end of the film her hair was still in good condition. I also made sure to use heat protectant (alcohol free) and the lowest heat setting I could use to make sure not to damage her hair. A few of my favorite STYLING products that Davines sent over was ...

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The pomades were widely used in this film with the mens hair but also with the women's. Sometimes I would use the pomade for the structure and sometimes I would use it for the finishing look it gave.

Lastly, a huge shoutout to Davines for choosing to support hairstylists that are doing ALL types of hair work. I am so thankful to have your support and have you forever be a staple in my kit.

Cheers!

7 LAST MINUTE STOCKING STUFFERS

7 LAST MINUTE STOCKING STUFFERS

I know that it can't be just me who LOVES waiting till the last minute to finish my Christmas shopping. There is some sick rush that comes from driving crazy to make it some place before they close, or calling ever Kitson store in the LA district to try and find that one item you held in your hand 3 weeks ago but thought "nah, Ill wait". No? I am the only one?

Well for those of you out there who are just like me who find that its not quite the Holiday season without some sort of challenge, well then here are a few tips to help you get ahead.... quickly. 

Mac Travel Size Items

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Mac has some amazing skin products that just make things easier at the end of the day when you are tired and you have that thought of "I wish I was rich enough to lay in bed and have someone else take my makeup off and brush my teeth.....and massage my scalp. Well all these items MAC has to offer in minis. Perfect for that one last lump in the stocking.

Makeup Forever HD Kit

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I dont know about any of you but I think the best time of year to shop at Sephora is during the Holiday season because all of these magnificant brands come out with sample packs of their stuff. So its like trying it without completely commiting to a full size. This HD kit is great on camera or just every day fabulous.

Targets Pre-selected Makeup Kits

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Target helps you out by putting together a ready to go kit that would be a great introduction for someone who may be new to makeup. They have various suggestions and its at the descretion of the buyer to determine the skill level of the person that they are buying for. 

Beauty Blender

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Great gift for anyone that wears makeup. It is a simple twist on an age ol' sponge. It applies makeup in some hard to reach areas (around the nose, near the eyes etc). 

Burts Bees Lip Set

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Um, i'm sorry, who doesn't love burts bees? I know that because this set have some colors to it that it may or may not be geared towards a woman. However, I know that men are just as much as a fan for Burts Bees products as women. You can find these at Target, CVS, Walgreens to name a few.

Philosophy Travel Agent

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Buying for someone who is not so much into makeup? Well everyone can use a little hair and skin lovin'. Its the perfect amount to have somone fall in love and want more, but by the time these products are empty you are not obligated to buy them more cause Christmas will be ovvvvver. 

Ferrero Rocher

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Last but not least.... CHOCOLATE!!! Its so universal because it looks like coal, so it won't matter if they are naughty or nice. My only advice with this one is to leave a little some for your own stocking because its the best thing to stuff in your face after the inicial stuffed feeling has slightly faded. 

That is Anna Milhouse's list of favorite stocking stuffers that will be kind to your wallet and will make all the little Christmas elves looking fly as shit.

Until next time!

Two Trends from NYFW That You Should Pay Attention To

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You don't have to know me for very long to know that I love glitter and anything that shines. I am a advocate for blinding people with my cheek highlights and my lip glosses. So when these looks were so beautifully displayed during NYFW this season I was more than giddy.

We can usually expect to thank Pat McGrath anytime we see something that takes our breath away and yet gives us life at the same time. You bet your sweet ass I will be rocking some sequins on my face at some point this year. Because, well, its on trend dammit.

Second trend that is just so effortless, and I MEAN effortless. Like put no effort into this trend and you will be doing it perfectly. It is this completely melted-worn-in-skin. As Francois Nars so eloquently put it "He likes the idea that they've been out all night sweating" when referring to Marc Jacobs inspiration for this look. So basically, put your makeup on, go turn on the shower (as if you were to actually shower, ew) and then just let the steam just climb all over your face. And Voila! 

No but seriously, some of us will intensionally wear this look around and some of us will do it just because we are kinda oily. That being said, I LOVE the look of fresh skin. The light being able to bounce off of the skin and show off dimension.

I give both of these trends the Anna Milhouse stamp of approval.

Said and done.